What DO You Have?

January 6, 2011
I was reminded recently of a story from the rich Christian tradition of the New Testament wherein Jesus was teaching a large group of people and they became hungry.  He told his disciples that he wanted to feed them, and the immediate response of the disciples was one of scarcity, almost as if they were saying, “Look at all of this food that we DON’T have.”  They were focused on their lack of resources.  Well, that wasn’t very useful to Jesus who redirected them by asking, “What DO you have?”  That’s when they came up with the inventory of a few loaves and fishes, leading to the miracle of abundance.  Focusing on what you DON’T have will do nothing more than leave you feeling frustrated and discouraged.  What DO you have?  Now that is a useful question.  Bring what you have and start with that to create abundance.

Vision is what gives us the power to initiate movement.

Brett Harward


Stratospheric Success

December 14, 2010

I read a compelling book this week by Bob Burg and John David Mann called, “The Go-Giver”. These authors understand one of the best kept secrets of success, that human life income actually flows outward from you. I especially liked their five laws of stratospheric success which are:

The Law of Value

Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment

The Law of Compensation

Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them

The Law of Influence

Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.

The Law of Authenticity

The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself

The Law of Receptivity

The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

I have personally experienced these laws to be true and effective.  It feels just a little backwards to a lot of people in this world because they get stuck in victim and scarcity mode.  Let it go!  Put it out there!  Go Give!!

Dr. Paul


Mind The Gap

November 5, 2010

When you compare how you are doing with the ideal, how do you feel? Common words my clients share with me are “frustrated”, “inadequate”, “depressed”, or “discouraged”. Dan Sullivan of The Strategic Coach teaches that this is because of “The Gap”. The gap is defined as the permanent distance between your reality and the ideal. On the other hand, when you compare how you are doing to how you have done in the past, how do you feel? Common words to describe this scenario are, “encouraged”, “accomplished”, “satisfied”, or “pleased.” You get to choose the standard by which you measure your progress – Mind the Gap!

Swing hard, in case they throw the ball where you’re swinging.
– Duke Snider

Be Box 1

September 30, 2010

Imagine three magical machines or boxes… Into Box 1  you feed a crisp $100 bill.  It hums and the lights flash and every single time it spits out $200.  Do you like this box?  How often would you feed this box?  How hard would it be to get other people to feed this box?  This is going well, so you take one of your $100 bills and feed it into Box 2.  Box 2 hums and the lights flash and every single time it spits out $100.  How excited are you about this one?  There is one box left so you feed another $100 into Box 3, which hums and the lights flash and every single time it spits out $20.  Notice the difference in how you feel about each of these boxes.  What is the box?  The box is always a person.  If this is true, which box are you?  If you always strive to create more value for others than you consume, there will be no shortage of those who want to feed value into you.  If you are Box 3 you are depleting the resources of others.  Be Box 1!

Be Box 1

Life is an echo; what you send you comes back.

Chinese Proverb

Failing Forward

September 16, 2010

I’m enjoying reading John C. Maxwell’s book Failing Forward.  Failure is an almost universal fear.  I say “almost” because the truly successful people in life have a very different view of failure.  Maxwell points out that one of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures.  Instead, they need to keep the bigger picture in mind.  Whether you call what is happening in your life or what has happened in your life as a failure is up to you and you alone.  You have the power to label your experience as failure or as a powerful learning experience – choose!

The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake.

– Nelson Boswell

Camels and Change

September 2, 2010

Several years ago, Vicki and I visited the Canary Islands in connection with an evaluation I was doing in a child custody matter.  While we were there, we rode a camel.  I learned that camels have the interesting tendency to grumble and complain with every command that the wrangler issued.  He would command them to kneel so the rider could mount up – and the camel would grumble and complain.  He then commanded them to stand, and again grumbling and complaining.  Basically anything that represented a change brought on the attitude.  How are you handling the changes in your life?  Remember, better is always different.  Look at the changes in your life as amazing opportunities to experience something better, rather than just grumbling and complaining about having to move.

Character or Reputation

August 16, 2010
One of the most common obsessions is worrying about what other people think of us.  The truth of the matter is that most other people are too busy worrying about what we think of them to be thinking about us.  You’re always better off making your decisions based on what you know to be right or wrong than to worry about what other people think.  I like the way Wayne Dyer put it when he said that we truly become free when we are independent of the good opinion of others.

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

-John Wooden

Yesterday’s Tomorrow

July 21, 2010
As I was meeting with a client this week she shared today’s quote with me:  “Today is the tomorrow that you were afraid of yesterday.”  Here it is, and there you are still handling everything as it comes.  At the root of every fear is the same belief – that I can’t handle it.  Nothing could be farther from the truth – you have already handled absolutely everything so far, and that will not be changing.  Keep moving forward and know that you can handle it!

Today is the tomorrow that you were afraid of yesterday.


Accountability Questions

June 18, 2010

On the victim pendulum, one extreme is blaming someone or something else for everything that happens to you.  “I’ts not my fault!” is the victim’s creed, as they look to favorite targets to blame for their misery – whether that be the economy, their ex-spouse, the government, their parents, or whatever.  The other extreme of the victim pendulum is not as commonly discussed, but far too commonly experienced.  At the other end of the pendulum swing is blaming self.  This is where you have created all of the misery in your own life and in the lives of those around you through your foolish choices.  You become a victim of yourself as you beat yourself up for being the cause of your misery.  Consider these four questions as you get back to accountability, and avoid the extreme swings of the victim pendulum.

  1. How is this about me?  Remember everything has a personal and an impersonal component and some part of this is yours.
  2. How did I create this?  Similar to the first question, there are some things that you control and some things that you don’t.  Be very clear about what choices and actions of your own contributed to where you are.
  3. What can I learn from this?  An acknowledgement that all of life’s experiences carry value if you will learn the lessons that they provide.
  4. What is my commitment to myself and others moving forward?

The troops aren’t coming… WE are the troops!

Mary Louise Zeller

Feedback, Breakfast of Champions

May 14, 2010
Life serves up many opportunities to see how we are doing from the perspective of others.  Getting feedback from others is feared by those who don’t understand its value.  True champions crave the information they can get from those who see them from the outside.  Remember that feedback from others is just information, it is neither good or bad.  It is not about you as much as it is about someone else’s experience of you – which is valuable information.  Accept feedback with gratitude and grace.

The instructions for getting out of your box are printed on the outside of your box.

– L. Cameron Mosher, Ph.D.

Please enjoy my interview with Tim Esau at Live On Purpose Radio of the same title