Archive for the ‘happiness’ Category

Sharing or Despairing

December 1, 2011

I’ve made a hobby of collecting inspiring stories.  When I interview amazing people on my show, I’ve noticed that every single story without exception has a hard part in the middle.  These hard parts of life create a choice.  The choice is between sharing and despairing.  When you focus on your problem as if it is all about you, get ready for some serious despair.  When you realize that your problem has something to do with assisting others who have similar problems, and you get busy sharing what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown, life takes on new meaning and purpose.  I am so grateful for good people who are willing to share – it helps me feel less crazy and more hopeful in my own challenges.  Sharing or despairing – it’s your choice!
 
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Recognize that each of us has the power to change the way react to the situations we face in life.
 
Marc Muchnick

Nobody Gets Out of This Alive

October 1, 2011

My friend Shawn Warenski is a funeral director.  Since I met Shawn as a guest on my show a few years ago, we have so far had two mutual clients.  I think Shawn may be the only guy in town who has a more stable job than me.  People really like and appreciate what I do for them, but they are dying to go see Shawn.  Few things are more certain than death.  You have probably heard the expression, nothing in life is certain except death and taxes – well I know people who avoid taxes. 

 In high school, my son was an avid runner.  I noticed when I attended his track and field events that different runners had very different approaches to their races.  The short distance guys would crouch down in the blocks and explode into a full sprint for the entire race.  The distance runners would stand in a group at the start and pace themselves through most of the race, sprinting only when they were approaching the finish.  Life has a finish line.  We usually don’t know how far off it is, we just know that it is there.  As we come to terms with our own mortality, we gain perspective on how to live our life.  Live well!

Death is more universal than life.  Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.

A. Sachs

What Doesn’t Make Sense

September 17, 2011

During a morning run this week I came across this sign for a golf course.  I quickly identified the golf bag and clubs on the right and the red rock outcropping on the left, but I couldn’t quite make out what that white item was attached to the cliff – it didn’t make sense to me.  As I continued to study what didn’t make sense, suddenly the white thing became a shirt on a man and the red rock cliff became a couple.  It all made sense to me as I finally made sense out of the part that didn’t.  In our lives there are often things that don’t make sense.  Take a closer look at those things, and often the very things that don’t make sense to us bring the whole picture into context.

In science, mistakes always precede the truth.

Horace Walpole

Weeds Thrive Too

June 1, 2011

After a very rainy May here in Utah, my little garden is thriving and growing well.  I also have a weed patch in a neglected spot that is thriving and growing well.  Our minds are like the fertile earth, ready and willing to return an abundance of whatever we plant and cultivate there.  But be careful – weeds are default.  If you don’t intentionally plant productive and positive thoughts, you may soon find the place overgrown with weeds of negativity, fear, and doubt.

Every thought is a seed.  If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting golden delicious.

– Bill Meyer 

Cultivating You

May 24, 2011

I’m working on getting something of a garden going this spring, which requires a lot of cultivating, weeding, tending, watering, and nurturing of the seeds and plants in order to have a harvest. My friend, Garrett Gunderson hosted a phenomenal event in Salt Lake City last week where he pointed out that the key to wealth creation is to cultivate yourself. Take care of and invest in yourself, and you will thereby create your results. You are your greatest asset!

In the absence of clarity of your soul purpose you cannot discern the difference between distraction and opportunity

– Garrett Gunderson

Whatever Doesn’t Look Like That

April 19, 2011

Soap Circle

I was just looking at this chain that I whittled out of a family sized bar of Ivory soap.  The most common question I get about this after people marvel that I would have that much extra time on my hands is, “How did you do that?”  The answer is simple, I just cut off everything that doesn’t look like that.  Our lives tend to accumulate a lot of extra baggage from time to time.  Get a clear picture of what you want your life to look like, and start cutting off whatever doesn’t look like that!
 

 

Ability is what you’re capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz 
 
 
Dr. Paul

Choose Happiness

February 24, 2011

A common theme lately in my practice has been that of choosing happiness.  We stumble around and search and strive for that which will make us happy thinking, “I will be happy when…” or “I would truly be happy if…”  The illusion that success will bring happiness traps us in a state of perpetually waiting for it to happen.  The real secret is that happiness brings success, not the other way around.  Choose happiness – no matter what.

Some people stumble through life trying to find the way to happiness, they don’t understand the way IS happiness.

Wayne Dyer

Camels and Change

September 2, 2010

Several years ago, Vicki and I visited the Canary Islands in connection with an evaluation I was doing in a child custody matter.  While we were there, we rode a camel.  I learned that camels have the interesting tendency to grumble and complain with every command that the wrangler issued.  He would command them to kneel so the rider could mount up – and the camel would grumble and complain.  He then commanded them to stand, and again grumbling and complaining.  Basically anything that represented a change brought on the attitude.  How are you handling the changes in your life?  Remember, better is always different.  Look at the changes in your life as amazing opportunities to experience something better, rather than just grumbling and complaining about having to move.

Yesterday’s Tomorrow

July 21, 2010
As I was meeting with a client this week she shared today’s quote with me:  “Today is the tomorrow that you were afraid of yesterday.”  Here it is, and there you are still handling everything as it comes.  At the root of every fear is the same belief – that I can’t handle it.  Nothing could be farther from the truth – you have already handled absolutely everything so far, and that will not be changing.  Keep moving forward and know that you can handle it!

Today is the tomorrow that you were afraid of yesterday.

-Anonymous 

Accountability Questions

June 18, 2010

On the victim pendulum, one extreme is blaming someone or something else for everything that happens to you.  “I’ts not my fault!” is the victim’s creed, as they look to favorite targets to blame for their misery – whether that be the economy, their ex-spouse, the government, their parents, or whatever.  The other extreme of the victim pendulum is not as commonly discussed, but far too commonly experienced.  At the other end of the pendulum swing is blaming self.  This is where you have created all of the misery in your own life and in the lives of those around you through your foolish choices.  You become a victim of yourself as you beat yourself up for being the cause of your misery.  Consider these four questions as you get back to accountability, and avoid the extreme swings of the victim pendulum.

  1. How is this about me?  Remember everything has a personal and an impersonal component and some part of this is yours.
  2. How did I create this?  Similar to the first question, there are some things that you control and some things that you don’t.  Be very clear about what choices and actions of your own contributed to where you are.
  3. What can I learn from this?  An acknowledgement that all of life’s experiences carry value if you will learn the lessons that they provide.
  4. What is my commitment to myself and others moving forward?

The troops aren’t coming… WE are the troops!

Mary Louise Zeller