Archive for the ‘Adversity’ Category

Sharing or Despairing

December 1, 2011

I’ve made a hobby of collecting inspiring stories.  When I interview amazing people on my show, I’ve noticed that every single story without exception has a hard part in the middle.  These hard parts of life create a choice.  The choice is between sharing and despairing.  When you focus on your problem as if it is all about you, get ready for some serious despair.  When you realize that your problem has something to do with assisting others who have similar problems, and you get busy sharing what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown, life takes on new meaning and purpose.  I am so grateful for good people who are willing to share – it helps me feel less crazy and more hopeful in my own challenges.  Sharing or despairing – it’s your choice!
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Recognize that each of us has the power to change the way react to the situations we face in life.
Marc Muchnick


Choose Happiness

February 24, 2011

A common theme lately in my practice has been that of choosing happiness.  We stumble around and search and strive for that which will make us happy thinking, “I will be happy when…” or “I would truly be happy if…”  The illusion that success will bring happiness traps us in a state of perpetually waiting for it to happen.  The real secret is that happiness brings success, not the other way around.  Choose happiness – no matter what.

Some people stumble through life trying to find the way to happiness, they don’t understand the way IS happiness.

Wayne Dyer

Failing Forward

September 16, 2010

I’m enjoying reading John C. Maxwell’s book Failing Forward.  Failure is an almost universal fear.  I say “almost” because the truly successful people in life have a very different view of failure.  Maxwell points out that one of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures.  Instead, they need to keep the bigger picture in mind.  Whether you call what is happening in your life or what has happened in your life as a failure is up to you and you alone.  You have the power to label your experience as failure or as a powerful learning experience – choose!

The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake.

– Nelson Boswell

Camels and Change

September 2, 2010

Several years ago, Vicki and I visited the Canary Islands in connection with an evaluation I was doing in a child custody matter.  While we were there, we rode a camel.  I learned that camels have the interesting tendency to grumble and complain with every command that the wrangler issued.  He would command them to kneel so the rider could mount up – and the camel would grumble and complain.  He then commanded them to stand, and again grumbling and complaining.  Basically anything that represented a change brought on the attitude.  How are you handling the changes in your life?  Remember, better is always different.  Look at the changes in your life as amazing opportunities to experience something better, rather than just grumbling and complaining about having to move.

Yesterday’s Tomorrow

July 21, 2010
As I was meeting with a client this week she shared today’s quote with me:  “Today is the tomorrow that you were afraid of yesterday.”  Here it is, and there you are still handling everything as it comes.  At the root of every fear is the same belief – that I can’t handle it.  Nothing could be farther from the truth – you have already handled absolutely everything so far, and that will not be changing.  Keep moving forward and know that you can handle it!

Today is the tomorrow that you were afraid of yesterday.


Hard Things First

April 20, 2010

Your life is made up of a variety of activities, some of which you really enjoy and look forward to, and some of which you may dread.  The hard stuff seems to always be there waiting for you.  Today there is likely to be at least one challenging task that you just don’t want to do.  Move that one to the top of your list and do it first.  Imagine how you will feel when that one thing is behind you rather than in front of you.  Do the hard things first and watch your energy multiply!

I often hear people say that I’m lucky to have a job I love.  Personally I don’t see how it is luck, when I chose this job.

Nikki Stone – Olympic Gold Medalist

Just Do It

March 1, 2010

Your mind has the amazing capability to create solutions and opportunities, and at the same time has the equally impressive ability to identify all of the reasons why you can’t do something.  You are naturally endowed with the ability to know what to do in certain moments.  You will know, for example, that someone could use a call or a smile or a kind word.  Your amazing mind then gives you a dozen reasons to not do what you felt and knew to do.  Follow your first impressions, your natural knowing, and watch miracles start to happen in your life and the lives of those around you.  The solutions and opportunities you yearn for are just a relationship and a conversation away – JUST DO IT!!

The heart has reasons which reason cannot understand.

– Blaise Pascal

P.S.  I’ve been practicing this concept of following my impressions and not allowing myself to get stuck in all of the reasons why I shouldn’t or couldn’t do something.  One of these experiences came up for me when my daughter was doing a job shadow assignment for her Junior High class.  Lyndi has an interest in art, and her favorite artist in the whole world is Greg Olsen.  She has admired his art for years, and has several of his prints hanging in her room.  My wife said to me, wouldn’t it be cool if Greg Olsen were the one that Lyndi could shadow for her assignment.  My initial impression was to contact him (didn’t even know him or have any contact with him at the time).  I quickly came up with a dozen or more reasons not to do that, but followed my first impression and thus assisted my daughter to create a “dream come true” experience last week.  The solutions and opportunities you yearn for are just a relationship and a conversation away – JUST DO IT!!  Tune in to Live On Purpose Radio this week for my interview with this kind and generous artist.

Acceptance, not Apathy

November 20, 2009
Several of my clients just this week have been concerned that they are becoming “hardened” or “past feeling” because they don’t feel as upset about something in their life as they did a while back.  When we first encounter or anticipate a difficult or painful life circumstance, we may be overcome with fear, dread, shock, or horror.  As we come to terms with these life challenges, we begin to accept them for what they are.  This frees up our mind to actually start working on productive solutions or adaptation.  As you begin to accept things as they are, you become less frantic, and can actually have more influence on potential outcomes.  Acceptance doesn’t mean that you don’t care.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes but in having new eyes.

– Marcel Proust



November 11, 2009

Decisions, choices, options… Those words delineate freedom and control over various aspects of life. They also strike fear into the heart, mostly because of the chance that your choice will be WRONG! But not making a choice is itself a choice with a full spectrum of consequences. You can’t not choose, so choose wisely. Don’t worry about making a mistake – that just gives you the opportunity to learn something you didn’t know before.

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.

– William James


September 24, 2009

My wife posted this thought on my facebook ( wall this week:  ….”A pessimist and an optimist approached Goliath. The pessimist thought, ‘He’s so big, I can’t possibly kill him. The optimist thought, ‘He’s so big, I can’t possibly miss!” Mary Ellen Edmunds.


A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; and optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

– Winston Churchill


Join me this weekend (September 26th) in Salt Lake City for the official launch of The Women’s Information Network – Vicki and I will be show hosts for this exciting new network for women.  Please register at – hope to see you there.